Life in the Weird Lane

Ok..not as catchy as the Eagles title but it's certainly apropos.

In my prior post I mentioned how crappy a job the Street Dept. did when they filled the joints with asphalt. This was a fact, not merely a figment of my imagination or simply my opinion. I know bullshit work when I see it. Anyhow, I got called out about it by some fuck that I have never had any interaction with prior. It seems his 'point' was that if I had never done this type of work before then I had no right to criticize and I should just accept the shit job that was performed. Evidently, no matter the quality, if this isn't my area of expertise, then I should have accepted it because I have no idea how hard it is to do the job correctly.

To this, I say 'What the fuck is your problem'? So, you've never had work done by someone else that was sub-par? And if you did, you just said "thats ok because I'm sure its a difficult job and I don't expect it to be done properly"? If thats the case (and it surely sounds like it) then you are truly a fucking moron and a shining example of whats wrong in the world today. Its my guess that you're one of the those that refuse to be accountable for your actions, that whenever you fuck up, its someones elses fault. Never taking responsibility, never being man enough to say "I fucked up"....just expecting others to be happy with what you do because 'you tried'.

I, live in the 'real world'. I expect of those that work for me, and also from myself, to do the best job possible, with no excuses or exceptions. I will not tolerate laziness or the attitude that 'its good enough'. I don't care if a customer spends $25 with us or $25,000, they are all entitled to the best possible service that we can deliver. There are parts of my (and my employees) job that are extremely difficult. If we make the wrong recommendation or sell the improper equipment, it could have devastating consequences for the customer, which in-turn comes back to us. Do you think if we fuck up we could get by with telling the customer 'Sorry...but you just don't have any idea how difficult this job is"? That is the most asinine fucking thing I have ever heard. We are being paid to do a job and perform a service to its fullest...not to do a half-ass job and expect the customer to just accept it.

I hold others to the same standards that I place on myself and my company. Why should I settle for anything less? If I did, then why would I be surprised to learn that my customers decided to go elsewhere? Fuck man, I wouldn't blame them. But...I guess you would.

The heat...and other things that make me crabby

Fuckin 98 here today (as well as the past few days) and gonna be like this for awhile. I normally take what 'summer gives', but it's still fucking June....way too early. I know, I know, I'm gonna hear from y'all in the South but WTF?? The temp is part of where you live....and its not supposed to be this hot here until mid-July.

Fuckin AC's were both running non-stop...until one them quit this afternoon....the big, main one. Trying to get an AC company here in this weather is next to fucking impossible...unless we have 3 days to wait. Current temp is now 87 fuckin degrees in here.

Fuckin Street Dept.............I come home from work yesterday and see that the Street Dept. had been doing work on my street......filling the joints between the concrete with asphalt. Ok, no problem with that. My problem is that they spilled (dripped, splattered, etc) more than they filled, all over the whole fuckin street. There are literally pools of this shit every 8-10 feet, in all fucking directions. Why can't they have the fuckin people who know how to do this properly do it...instead of these ass-clowns who don't give a fuck? This kinda crap really pisses me off because of the ensuing mess it causes. So, being the 'concerned citizen' I am, I called them this morning. Here's how it went:

Me: Whom do I speak to regarding street repair?

Government Lackey: You need sumthin fixed or have a complaint?

Me: A complaint

GL: Hold on...those lines are busy..wanna hold?

Me: (No fuckin doubt) Yes, I do.

Maybe 10 minutes goes by and its then answered by someone that could not have sounded more bored.

GL#2: StreetdeptcomplaintofficehowcanIhepyou?

I tell her what the problem is and thats where I lost her.

GL#2: So..you're complaining that we did the work?

Me: No...I'm complaining because it looks like it was done by a bunch of 4 year-olds.

GL#2: But...the work was done...right?

Me: Yes...but it looks like hell and there is puddles of asphalt in areas they weren't work working on....its slopped all over.

GL#2: Sir.....we did the work and while it may not live up to your standards, the job is finished.

Me: Look, all I'm sayin is that if they would taken a little more care they could have done this job so it looked alittle less like it was done by a bunch of semi-trained chimps.

GL#2: Sir....I don't see how this has any adverse effect on you or the other residents.

Me: I'm sure you don't 'see' but I'll try to explain this. What happens when you drive through a big puddle of tacky asphalt thats located right in front of your concrete driveway?

GL#2: Sir, I would suggest not driving through it then...you should try to avoid those areas.

Me: (Trying extremely hard to keep from telling to her go fuck herself) Hmm....I guess that would be a solution..IF IT WAS HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO AVOID BUT SINCE THE MORONS DECIDED TO SPILL ASPHALT EVERYWHERE YOU CAN'T HELP BUT DRIVE THROUGH IT!

GL#2: Sir, that happens whenever asphalt is used. There is nothing we can do to prevent that.

Me: Okay (getting real fucking exasperated)...so, do I call you back to schedule someone to come out and clean all that crap off of my driveway and my garage floor? What I'm saying is that I am holding your department responsible for my property being damaged due to the negligence of your employees and that I am going to make it 'official' by putting everything in writing and stating that I spoke to you and that you basically said 'too bad...my problem'.

GL#2: Uh......would you like to speak to my supervisor?

Me: Nope....you've told me everything I needed to know and I think I have properly recorded it all down. Can I read it back to you to make sure that I am 100% correct?

GL#2: Uh...okay....what I can do is contact the Street Supervisor and have him go by and look at it. I do know that if they find the job is 'sub-par' they can remedy the problem as well as clean up the 'subject area'.

Me: Thats all I wanted in the 1st place. Here's my cell number, have him call me when he knows he's going to come out and I'll meet him.

Now, may I ask..What The Fuck???? Why not just come out and say this to begin with instead of all this 'hard to get along with' bullshit? This fuckin phone call coulda been over in 5 fucking minutes.

Fuck....didn't she know I was hot................and crabby????? Well...I bet she knows now.

Ok.....Bathroom Pics Are Up..Are You Really Excited???

Had y'all on the edge of your seats.........didn't I? So, thats it and I am fuckin done w/ any more 'remodel' shit.....................uh..well, thats what I think.

Like a JunkYard Dog...

Thats how mad I was and truthfully, I guess I haven't calmed down all that much....I mean I am still royally fuckin pissed...uh....guess I had better back up some.

If y'all recall, I had found a '68 GTO online..all the way in fuckin Youngstown,Ohio...12 fuckin miles from Pennsylvania.

I talked to the guy who owned this car, several times, and asked him every fuckin question I could think of, about the car. I even had him send me a lot of additional pictures so I could look them over closely.

Finally I had decided that this was the car I was going to buy. I figured that I would drive up, rent a 'car hauler' trailer there, buy the car, and haul it back.

A buddy of mine from 'SV' went along. I wanted him to go, not only for the company, but because he knows about shit like this...plus he's a funny fucker.

I pick him up at 7:00 AM on last Thursday...and its raining. Raining like a mfer. In fact, we drove the whole fuckin way in the rain. Besides being annoying as it can be, it forced me to drive slower and when I have 600 fuckin miles to drive, going slower really isn't an option that I prefer.

For those of you that are geographically challenged, from St. Louis, you have to drive through Illinois, Indiana, and then almost all the way across Ohio to get to Youngstown. But...I was excited so the drive wasn't that bad.

About 30 miles out of Youngstown, I call the GTO guy and ask if we could come by and look at it now instead of in the morning. He says 'fine' but tells me that he would like to get this done before he sits down for dinner. WTF??? I just drove 11 fuckin hours and this dickhead is worried about his fuckin dinner? I tell him I'll do what I can but I'm not going to rush it through.

I tell my buddy what he said. He replies 'I bet he's fuckin pussy whipped and his wife is makin him sell his car'.

We pull up to his house........a very nice house too. He comes out and we do all the bullshit intro crap. We walk around to the garage and there it is, just like he said................. except the 1st thing I see a 15" section of rusted door on the passenger side, along with 2 holes that had been drilled for the outside mirror, except when they tried to open the side vent window (most of you probably don't remember these), it hit the mirror, so they simply drilled 2 more holes and moved back...but didn't bother fill the holes.

WTF?? Like I said, I had him send me a lot of pictures and nothing like this showed up. My buddy and I look over the car, both of us finding things we didn't like (Uh....are the GTO emblems supposed to be so loose they feel like they're going to fall off....whats all that paint bubbling...is that rust coming through....Do you see the transmission fluid leaking..if the bumpers have been re-chromed, then why are they rusty)?

Now...I am in fuckin disbelief. I just drove all this way and I'm going home empty-handed. GTO guy jumps in and starts it up....Okay..that almost swayed me..this thing sounded great. I'm sure people could hear it rumbling 2 fuckin blocks away.

He gets out, smiling. "Sounds 'bad-ass' doesn't it" Now.....get what he says next and I swear this is the honest fucking truth...."You oughta see the girls at McDonalds drive-thru when I pull up. They're all smiles and give me the 'thumbs up'. Of course he didn't say 'thumbs-up', he just snapped both if his thumbs up and fuckin grinned. I coulda jacked him right between his fuckin eyes. Yeah...thats what I want, a car that impresses a bunch of 16 year olds at the drive-thru.

I pull out the pictures he sent and ask him "Wheres the big fuckin rust spot on the door"?

GTO Guy: Uh..I guess it didn't show up in the picture.

Me: Thats bullshit...you photo shopped the fuckin picture...and had me drive 600 fuckin miles. Did you think I wouldn't see it? That I would just say okay and take it? Man...that is really a fucked up thing to do (of course, my voice was getting louder and louder). We're outta here and you can keep your fuckin car.

My buddy, sensing that he may have to end up bailing me out of a Ohio jail, moves over to me and says 'lets go'.

GTO Guy: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BUY IT?? I transferred the title over to your name yesterday. How am I going to sell it with your name on the title?

Me: I don't give a fuck, thats your fucking problem and that just shows me what a fucking moron you are. Who transfers a title BEFORE you get the money?

GTO Guy: I'm keeping your $50 deposit. Thats what it cost me to change the title over.

Me: I don't give a fuck...keep the fuckin 50.

We drove off and headed back for an hour or so...with little being said. Finally my buddy said "Ya know, that guy was not only married to an ugly gal, he had ugly kids too". That kinda put things in 'perspective' and I started laughing. We stopped and got a hotel for the night. By the next day, all was good and the trip back was pretty enjoyable....that is until I got a phone call from the place I was going to rent the 'car hauler'. I called them after I left GTO Guy and told them I wouldn't be needing it. Now this gal calls me and tells me they are going to charge me $50 for NOT renting it....even though they didn't disclose this prior as part of the verbal rental agreement. "Go ahead...I don't care...I'll just dispute it on my charge. Thank you for calling". We laughed some more ;)

I've Missed You Guys!!!

(This is going to be long, I feel)

Unlike my beloved Elle....I WILL apologize for 'falling off the face of the earth'. I do want y'all to know that the text I sent her was in response to her text asking "where the fuck I've been?" Too me, thats alittle like the 'pot calling the kettle Laura' ;)

1st, a HUGE shout out to Loni for her 'milk carton' thingy...I laughed my efen ass off at that!! And...my thanks to Elle for giving me the heads up on that :) Very creative, Loni!! :) :)

I tried to do some catching up on 'blog world' this morning and I found some things that makes me sad:

Trish....hang in there honey. Things have a way of working themselves out! EVERYONE goes through some rocky periods and after awhile, cooler heads do prevail. You're in my thoughts and I'm sure things will turn around sooner than later.

'The Girl'.....? Okay, I have no idea where she went, just that her blog is gone. I have my suspicions but no way to confirm them. 'R'.......If you're reading this, I hope you're okay sweetie and you have my love. If you can, send me an e-mail to let me know how you are.....okay?

To J-Fab, Kitch, TGG, ETW (and everyone else).....caught up some on your blogs and I'm glad to see y'all seem to be doing good :) J-Fab still certainly a MILF....uh..sorry, got carried away there ;) You look beautiful...really!! Kitch...WOW..an i-phone...very HIP :) And...the 'donor thing'...even hipper :) TGG....You ought to have your own 'Travel Network' show! Sooo...you're coming to St. Louis, huh? I'm sure you'll be pressed for time but if our schedules coincided, it would be cool to meet!! ETW......do you EVER have any free time?? BTW.....uh..I didn't see any 'current' cleavage pics...just sayin ;)

I'm sure y'all are wondering WTF the picture above is all about. As you can see...it's really yellow ;) and it happens to be a '68 Pontiac GTO. I've dreamed of owning this car since I was a teenager....and now it seems it may actually happen...and I can't believe it. Me, owning a true 'muscle' car :) I found it on-line and it currently resides in Ohio. I've spoken to the owner a couple of time and while theres a few minor details to get worked out, I've agreed to buy it from him (sent him a down payment yesterday). Hopefully in a week or so 'my dream' will be parked in my driveway. Damn...if I coulda pulled this off years ago, what a 'chick magnet' this woulda been ;) Now, I just have to figure out the besy way for me to get it here...fuckin Ohio...600 hundred fuckin miles away...oh well.

Dad Update: He's now concluded his 2nd set of chemo treatments (2 treatments 2x a week for 2 weeks, then a week off equals 1 set). Last week was his 'off week' but I had to take him in Thursday for blood tests. The result of this test was that he needed a transfusion and he had that Friday. Evidently its 'par for the course' because the chemo does not discriminate between 'good' cells and 'bad' cells' and his red blood count was too low. Hopefully, this will give him his strength back some. He hasn't had any negative side effects from the chemo, which is great, but his kidneys haven't shown much improvement as of yet. We'll find out more from the latest blood test tomorrow when we meet with the Dr. They did say it may take 3-4 rounds of treatment before it helps. I'm praying that the results tomorrow do show its doing what its supposed to.

Seriously, the main reason I haven't been around is my schedule is so fucked up. With all the Dr. visits etc, helping out at my parents house and doing things they aren't able to at this point, I'm having to play 'catch up' at work, pretty much on a daily basis. This in turn puts me behind on the shit I need to do at my house so much of my spare time is taken up by all the routine and normal crap. I'm not whining here (Efen does not fucking whine ;) just stating the facts so you don't think I've blown y'all off ;) Uh.....a hot chick at SV did show me her boobs the other day so that pretty well keeps my world intact ;);)

Hope everyone is fine and don't let Elle's latest 'I'm finally posting again' blog fool ya...thats all bullshit ya know ;)

I know, I know...."just who the fuck does he think he is.....dropping in, dropping out, dropping in?" I hear y'all and I'm in total agreement. I realize, I ain't 'Elle' (whom evidently, can 'come and go' (hehe) as she pleases ;)

First, I have been lurking....some but admittedly, not a great deal, so I'm sure I'm 'out of the proverbial loop'. If I've missed anything (good or bad) that I should know about, just tell me when you posted and I promise I'll go back and catch up.

I don't really have any excuses but, I have been doing something that I thought I was waaaaay fuckin past and that is working. In case you haven't read a fuckin paper or watched the news on TV in the last 8 fuckin months....the economy pretty well blows. So, drastic times call for drastic measures.....which is why I've been spending a ton of time making sure 'we' (the fucks who work for me, I mean) are operating as fucking efficiently as possible and delivering in every way, shape, and form the things our customers expect. That goes from my salesman all the way to that broad I pay money to answer the phones and whothefuckknows what else she does.

I've had several 'Walk with Jesus' talks to a couple of my employees. I have a 'newer' salesman, been here about a year. Even though he had 'background' in our business, he's pretty much a prima donna little fuck. "His" way is always the better way......and he has totally ignored the last two things I told him to make sure he did on a couple of jobs, jobs which he lost, but of course it wasn't his fault. Now, I may not know everything, but I do know whats involved with selling and what you need to do to make sure that you have an 'edge' over your competitor. It's not easy but but there are steps you have to make sure you do. Taking shortcuts will not fuckin cut it. And he's a 'short-cut' kinda guy.

Anyhow, I call him in my office and basically say "WTF???...maybe 15 fuckin times. You can say just about anything to me (which doesn't mean I'm going to buy it) but fucking NEVER say to me "I don't know". If you don't fucking know why you did something a certain (and fucked up) way, then who the fuck else is going to? I told this guy, whom I'll call 'Skippy', that the next fucking time I tell him to do something and he doesn't...he's fucking fired on the spot. He then proceeds to tell me he thought what he chose to do was better. I proceed to tell him that while he may of thought so, there's one fucking opinion that matters and it ain't his. Oh...and I also told him he had til the end of June. If he hasn't improved there's a gazillion people out there right now looking for jobs. Hey, I don't fire people, they fuckin fire themselves.

Dad Update: Doing well so far. No adverse side-effects and he does seem like he's feeling some better. Still early but thats how it is to-date.

Bathroom Update: Ok, before I said I liked it, which I do but fuck, the mfer ain't done yet. Just odds and end shit that evidently the contractor doesn't feel its worthwhile to get the shit done. Well, he may have felt like that before I called him this morning. I think when I said "You know the balance of the money I owe you...well, I'm instituting a 'late penalty'. Beginning a week from today, for every fucking day its not done, I'm deducting $250". WTF?? This is shit he could knock out in a day or two. Now we're still waiting on the tile company to come back and put 1" tile/pewter square fuckin thingys on the fucking wall around the mirrors, but that ain't his fault. I've got some of their money too. Geez......I would think they know what kind of prick I can be...I mean, they have met me.

Hope all is well with everyone and as soon as I get things settled abit, I'll be back around.

Hey All.............

Sorry for my absence....there's just been so much going on that honestly, I just haven't had the energy...not even 'lurking' much. Hopefully that will right itself in the not too distant future.

Quick update on my Dad. He started his IV Chemo treatment yesterday. Thankfully, he's on the 'short program' which means he's in and out of there in about 30 minutes. So far (knocking on wood) he hasn't had any major side-effects. I know its only been 1 treatment but since the Chemo goes right into his bloodstream, I'm thinking that any side-effects would have occurred fairly quickly...we'll see, I guess. He goes 2x per week, Mondays and Thursdays. He outlook is still great and I'm praying that the Chemo works and that he doesn't get sick.

I am fuckin pissed.......no, I'm beyond pissed..I am so fuckin mad that if I could, I'd have a fucker whacked.

Last night, 9:15 PM, the phone rings. Now maybe to y'all, 9:15 ain't late, but too me, if you're callin at that time, it had better be for a good fuckin reason.

I see on the Caller ID that its from some 'marketing company'. Okay, have to admit, I fuckin LOVE to take these low-life motherfuckers on..I sorta live for this shit. I answer and this LLMF starts with "Hello..We're doing a survey". Thats as far as he got.

Me: Stop right there...I'm on the No Call List.
LLMF: That doesn't apply to us. We're not selling anything
Me: I don't give a fuck. Do you know what fuckin time it is?
LLMF: NO....I don't
Me: Too fuckin stupid to tell time?
LLMF: (brief silence)
Me: I'm going to register a complaint with the Missouri Attorney Generals Office tomorrow....they love to take companies like yours on.
LLMF: Go ahead....knock yourself out.
Me: Fuck you, you jackoff prick.
LLMF: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?
Me: (I repeated it)
LLMF: ...Click....

Now, I don't normally go off to this degree but what the fuck, calling after 9:00? I had been up since 5:00 and I was in bed (with the TV on) and was in no fuckin mood.

10 minutes later.........RING.......RING.....RING.......

ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME????? It's the same prick calling back.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND BEFORE?
LLMF: ....Click....

5 minutes passes...RING.......RING......

ME: MOTHERFUCKER......YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHO YOU'RE FUCKIN WITH!(Like I could do anything and like he gave a fuck)
LLMF: I'm going to keep calling until you show me respect.

I thought I was gonna stroke out. I don't remember when I have been this pissed...pissed to a point where if possible, I would do something that woudn't be good.

Me: Since you're such a fuckin bad-ass with a telephone, I can't stop you......yet. BUT you little pussy, I fuckin guarantee you that I will do everything I fuckin can to find about about you're bullshit company and hopefully, in the process, find about about you. Then motherfucker, you'll see that you're not fuckin with someone who 'hopes' shit just goes away.
LLMF: ...Laughs....
Me: ...Click....

I turned off the ringer on the bedroom phone. I checked the caller ID this morning, the motherfucker did call back....2 more times. The last being at 10:50 PM.

I am not done with this. Oh....BTW...if you see this number on your Caller ID...be prepared: 858-428-3213. They go by the names of 'Directions In Research' or 'Market Research'.

Uh....maybe another week then I'll have bathroom pics to post. Gotta admit....I like it ;)